If I play my cards right and save my extra cash not used on bills from my NEW wage when I go back to work next week for 12 months and income taxes next year in February I will have about $15,996.
Minus the balance of $840 I have left to pay off in medical bills. So close, so close!
I’m so excited because I love Max you guys. I really do, and I wish I could be with him but he is just such a negative person. Whether it’s his fault or mine, who truly knows, I am unhappy 60% of the time. It doesn’t mean I don’t love him. I love him with every part of my being and want no one else, but it is so clear to me that he will never change. Maybe, maybe if he gets a new girlfriend or realizes what he has or had? I just am trying to detoxify my life through the end of the year.
Max thinks I NEED him to survive. He informed me of this tonight. I told him he is dead wrong and then he asked, “then why are you with me?” Geez, great question because logically I and everyone else are confused but my heart yearns for you and loves you and that’s why. What the fuck? Isn’t that why you are with me?
So, with my income taxes I will make the change if he doesn’t. Telling him I don’t need him (and hey treat me better) won’t be bought by him unless I show him I don’t and that I love myself more. The renewed lease won’t be up until June, but I can put income tax return of about $5/6000 in a savings account and I will have $5,800 saved by then (4 months short of a full year of saving) IF I didn’t spend a dime besides bills.
I really don’t want it to be this way and I would love more than anything to get a house with Max one day but I just wanna be happy.